Well it’s nearly christmas already . . .

... but I'm not feeling very christmassy, due to recent events I'm not very excited today despite having finished college until after new year. I'm glad to be on holiday now but I know alot of it will be spent doing some revising. I also think christmas itself will turn out to be the same let down it normally is. There is such a build up and then the day itself is usually rather quiet, for me anyhow. Opening presents and watching the many films on may provide myself with some amusement but it is usually the day after that is more enjoyable because it is when my family all meet up but I am yet to learn if that will be happening.

There's always new years eve to look forward to I suppose if that is, I'm looking forward to watching people get totally wasted. The festivites may surprise me and it could turn out to be fun, I hope so, there are other parties/ events going on this week so should give me something to do and provide ample oppertunity to have a laugh, but I am currently in one of my states of negativity. It'll pass I'm sure, somewhen.

On a lighter note, I have done a lot of my christmas shopping and am quite pleased with what I have bought so far. :)

On my party and being 18

Now, being 18, I can look back and think about how I've changed. Although my voice may still be quiet (I can't help that, thats who I am) but I have got so much more confident and do speak alot more now. I am just alot more confident and happy in myself anyway. I've realised it doesn't matter that people will try and laugh at me or annoy me or put me down because if I don't care about them I don't care what they think. If I'm having a good time and happy then whatever anyone else thinks generally doesn't mean a thing. It's those who are closest to me whose opinions of me I value.

I've also realised that I so made the right decision to go to a college where few of my school friends were going as I've made some lovely awesome amazing friends and I'm so much happier now.

The party I had was awesome, thanks to my friends and family who are all rather cool. Some people I think tried to spoil it but that backfired on them if that is what they were trying to do because I actually don't care about them anymore as I have moved on and got myself some lovely friends. College is cool. lol

I'm holding on to the cracks in our foundations

As well as liking the song I thought that line was a rather good one to sum up some stuff at the moment. There's some people I'm beginning not to like as much as I did which is a problem. I kind of long for some new friends or just to spend some time with some different people just for the change. I've been feeling a bit like my life was monotanous and I although in general terms I like normality I often crave something new, new excitement. Everyday at college I've been doing the same things in my breaks, hanging around with the same people. Now these people are nice enough, they've done nothing but been friendly and welcoming and I can't thank them enough for that as I needed them to save me from total boredom and lonliness.

Back then I did have some friends (I'd just gone to college) but I was going off them. I seem to have found myself back in that same situation. Not because I don't like my current friends a such but because I don't feel I have asd much in common with them and don't find the same things funny. Sometimes I do, but I just want to explore other situations or whatever just for some variation. I think perhaps I've always been like this, can be totally happy hanging around with people and then all of a sudden I want something different. It's not really them, I guess my opinions and interests change. Perhaps I will come ot a time where I know what I do like and will have definate fixed interests but at the moment they change often.

Anyway enough of my, for want of a better word, ranting. I recently passed my driving test (failed first time mainly through nerves) but am rather glad I've now passed and don't have to worry about my driving lessons anymore. Ity gives me slightly more freetime which is good considering the amount of work I have at the moment. But unlike before when I last blogged I am liking my courses again, on the whole but they are alot of work and effort. I also have a lot of deadlines and UCAS stuff coming up - oh joy!

Halloween was fun, though I didn't actually take my black rose partly because I forgot and because I was collecting money for charity in a town so it wasn't entirely practical. I did have my corpse bride costume on though which provided much amusement. I wore a scaled down version of what I could have worn (more customisation of clothes I had) just because of what I was doing but if I decide to use this costume for film conventions I might wear a proper dress instead. I do absolutely love my black veil and eye make-up though, which perhaps is a bit worrying lol. I'm quite tempted to turn goth just so I can have my eyes like I did lol.

I don't really know what else to say, I'm sure there's stuff I was going to say, oh yeah fireworks tomorow should be fun, then got my birthday coming up. Yay partyyyy lol.

Spoke too soon?

Well back to college. It's not that great. Photography is a lot of work and I am the only proper second year in my class and it isn't even that interesting but there's nothing else to change it to and I need to do 2 AS's to bring up my UCAS points. Talking of UCAS points I have started visiting Universities on the their open days, Royal Holloway and Reading yesterday. Can't say I was too impressed with Reading as the subject I wanted to do was on a smaller campus away from the main one. Royal Holloway was better, and it would be soooo cool to stay in the castle but I'm not sure the subject is quite right and I'm not sure I'll get in. However I still have about five more to visit in the next few weeks so will have to wait and see what I think of them, not that I really understand how I am supposed to be applying anyway as it is online yet we are meant to hand them into college :-S. I guess I'll find out somewhen lol. Back to the subject of college, Film Studies the other exciting subject I decided to take up this year is actually just pretty much the same as Media Studies which isn't greatly exciting although it does give me a rather big advantage at the moment so I shan't complain about that too much. The subjects I am carrying on from last year are fine I guess. The only really enjoyable stuff going on at college at the moment is the prodution that I hope to get involved in doing back stage stuff perhaps as assistant director or stage manager, and also the college magazine which we are currently producing a Halloween issue of, which means I've written a short spooky story.

On other news, I went to a drama class which is rather good me thinks, well I enjoy it anyway, needed some outlet for my overly dramatic side ;P

I don't actually have anything else overly interesting to say as one 'event' I wrote about in my offline diary this week probably shouldn't be shared on here, I am still without a dress or mask for my 18th birhtday masked ball theme party though, but I'll keep looking, I'm afraid I'm a bit fussy, we also have alot of other stuff to buy for it but it isn't until November so not panicking... just yet anyway. Ooooh one last note to end this probably rather dull blog with the fact I've found out about a Harry Potter conference going on next year, and I will finally be old enough to go! Yay! :)

ps. Looking forward to Halloween, hoping to make/find a Corpse Bride costume so I can buy a black rose I saw in a fancy dress shop the other day.

'Is that you real hair?'

Were the words Dominic Monaghan said to me as he signed a photo of himself as Merry in Lord of the rings (also he is Charlie in Lost if you're still unsure who he is). I don't have really amazing hair that he couldn't believe was mine, nor do I have awful hair that he was mocking. I was indeed wearing a wig. I hasten to add as part of a costume rather than just for the fun of it although it was quite fun. I was at the London Film and Comic Convention at Earls Court dressed as Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter. Despite my first reservations about changing into my costume because of the lack of other costumers about at that time and because I was there with my boyfriend and he is one of the few people that I care what he thinks of me, I had a rather good time. Various people asked me questions about the costume, told me it was good and took photos, I have to admit to rather liking the attention. For a once painfully shy and quiet person I was rather outgoing. I met 4 more Potter guests (Colin Creevey - looks rather different now lol, 1st Katie Bell, and Seamus Finnigan) got their autographs, had my photo taken with them and chatted to them. Devon, who plays Seamus, was much friendlier than I'd thought he would be and he is also much shorter than I thought he was lol.

As well as getting the autographs, I got to have my photo taken with the flying Ford Anglia car used in the Potter films, I looked at some gorgeous dresses and cloaks and lots of random cool things, although I settled on only buying some new shiny smaller pictures of Harry Potter, Lord of the rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, Doctor Who, Finding Neverland and Robin Hood to go in my shiny kind of newly decorated room. Unfortunately I couldn't find any Pride and Prejudice posters not that I had much money left to have bought one with had I found one.
I also went to the Harry potter talk, and even got up and asked a question, not that they had very good answers to it but I didn't really expect them to.

After the excitement and adventure of Sunday, I am now preparing for going back to college. As I have said before I'm looking forward to it, but it does seem to have crept up on me rather quickly, and there's things I wanted to do but haven't and what I have done as gone by in such a blur that I don't think I enjoyed it all as much as I could have done. I don't really feel relaxed or re cooperated after having a break from college work and I feel summer has kind of passed me by. Having said that, when I think back, I have actually done quite a lot and had a good time. I think I'll spend the next few days relaxing and then perhaps weather depending, I'll do some of the things I haven't yet done at the weekend somewhen.

It's only when you leave your normal surroundings that you realise how much you actually like the normal things

As nice as it is to get away from home for awhile and spend time with different people it does make you realise that you actually do like all the comfort of normality, of being able to do what I want, to watch what I want and relax when I want rather than being controlled by what others are doing. But I did have a good week, despite my rather sore throat (which I've now found out is a throat infection) and it is rather calming and inspiring to be able to sit on the rocks watching the sea crashing against them and to go exploring in caves. I've realised I rather like water, waterfalls, streams, waves I don't know what it is really about it, I just love water, it can be calm, but it can also be inspiring and show us our insignificance and the power of the sea. Whilst away, I also visited the Eden Project, which had a rather impressive waterfall which went into a stream which I thought was rather cool.

Last week I also received my AS results. My ICT result was as I expected. My media was kind of although I'd liked to have done better, and my English was disappointing but I was ill for my exams and struggled with them so it wasn't totally unexpected. I think I should do better in year 2 as the exams are more suited to me and I plan to work very hard on my coursework and other work and keep having it re-marked and get as much help as I can if I do find I'm struggling with something so I can do really well and get the required grades to go on to University.

Talking of University I have to start deciding where to go and what to do and write my personal statement and apply. I have a list of about 7 Uni's, all to do some sort of Film studies/production course with either Creative writing or Journalism, which I hope to visit and then narrow my list down to the maximum of 5 I can apply to.

I'm actually looking forward to going back to college, I have done some college work in the holidays and plan to do some more to make sure I stay ahead as I know, hopefully, doing 2 A levels (English and Media) and 2 new AS's (Photography and Film Studies) that I'll have quite a bit of work to do. I want to do well and I think I will enjoy my new subjects but I also know half way through the year, or when it gets nearer to exam time I'll change my mind about enjoying and wanting to be at college.

Summer holidays

I've been to see Potter at the cinema again but I've not really done a lot else. The last decorating touches have been done to my room although I'm sure I'll still add bits here and there for a while. I'm planning a trip of Potter filming sites somewhen in the hols and I have my Driving theory test - eeek - but apart from that not much else planned. Except that is, from my mini holiday to Cornwall which I am rather looking forward to. Not only does it mean a break from my house, the boredom, my parents and all the regular stuff it also means visiting places I haven't before, nicer surroundings and well I don't get to go on holiday with my 'rents so I'm rather glad of the chance to go away somehow. Now when I get asked 'so where are you going on your holidays this year' I have an answer and don't have to pretend I'm o.k with not going anywhere.

My Deathly Hallows thoughts - warning contains huge spoilers

Well I have read the book, and had time to think over what I read, and re-read certain sections but do plan a total re-read soon as I am for one confused about certain things, and for two at a loss of what to do without having some HP to read. I finished the book with many confused feelings, I expected so much and was disappointed at how little we found out really, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the book or think it was good because it was brilliant, and oh how I cried. I still can't believe really that I have read the last ever Potter book so that isn't really why I cried (that will hit me later on I'm sure lol) but oh gosh Harry's 'death' was sooooooo emotional and sad but wonderfully written. Something in me thought no he can't really be about to die but I'd been starting to think he would have to sacrifice himself and I could see no way out once we were told he was a horcrux. I cried so much, not just few tears at the corner of my eyes proper full blown crying. The way J K included the information about his trips to Hagrid's hut just made me think about how final this book was, a sum up of all the amazing times I've had reading about the things Harry's done and now it would be over which as well as the fact Harry the character was about to face his death, so was the book which meant double the sadness. When Harry talked to Neville and didn't want to speak to Ginny was just so, awww and :( but really showed the love Harry felt for these people and what he was willing to do to ensure all of their safety. As to the other deaths, Hedwig got me, and Dobby but the end deaths in the battle didn't, partly because how quickly it was dealt with and because at that point I was expecting deaths, and bigger characters to what we did see so it was almost, an I do feel bad for saying this, but it was almost a relief that only those characters that died did. However when Lupin talked about not seeing his son that did get me lol. This book had so much action and the fact we saw Voldermort kill in the very first chapter and then more deaths straight away, then they were safe and then they weren't, all the time there was that fear of LV turning up or catching them which meant I couldn't put the book down I was so involved and wanted to know what would happen next.
There were some very funny moments though, even in the middle of so much grief and danger. Loved the Harry/Ginny stuff at The Burrow and the Hermione/Ron stuff, shame we didn't really get to see Tonks and Lupin together although we knew they were. Aside from deaths, other things that made me cry were - Hermione and her parents, that was so moving and showed just how talented a witch she is. The epilogue was also moving, but in a happy, wonderful way. I was just so pleased to see them all happy like that after everything that has happened to them all.

Some 'negative' things - a few things didn't seem to add up but that might be because I need to read it more carefully again or something. Also there was a lot of Dumbledore in this book, too much perhaps, though it was necessary and it was done well but I'd just have personally liked to have seen more of some other characters instead.

Last thing (for know anyhow) which well I feel it was probably necessary to show us Harry's feelings towards Snape but I'm a bit 'confused' about the Albus Severus thing because o.k he was very brave and he loved Lily but he wasn't a good person. He wouldn't have done any of those brave things if it hadn't been for Lily, and they say you can't help who you fall in love with but you can help what you do in your life and Snape CHOSE to become a death eater, wasn't it his own fault that Lily did get killed because he told LV about the prophecy. Forgive me if I've missed something or misunderstood but some people seem to think Snape redeemed himself and is good because he was on Dumbledore's side. But really he wasn't he was on his own side, just doing what Dumbledore wanted because he loved Lily. Having said that, his cruelness to Harry could have been seen as him just 'acting' so that LV wouldn't be able to realise Snape was a spy but, there is another but too many infact which makes me very confused lol, that Snape could stop LV reading his mind, why the need to act horrible because surely if LV could read his mind then he'd be able to see he was a spy anyway. O.k so perhaps the fact he had Lily's eyes made Snape angry or upset or guilty when looking into them but surely for Lily's sake he should have been kind or at least not so cruel. And why be cruel to Neville and Hermione? The only thing I can conclude from that is that he is not a nice man, he is bitter perhaps from his childhood but I think even then (he spent time with future Death Eaters) he wasn't nice and was very interested in the Dark Arts. His want to help Harry get rid of LV was really only because he killed Lily not because Snape disagreed with LV's beliefs or actions.

Anyone with any thoughts/opinions feel free to leave a comment. :)

My Deathly Hallows experience (no spoilers but will be in next blog, above)

So, the 20th came, whether I was ready for it to or not. I awoke still unsure where to go to get my book from that night but eventually decided about lunchtime that a local store would be more convenient and probably just as good. As it happens I don't know, not having been to any others, the London ones would I'm sure have provided me with much more theorising opportunities before the book was released and the overall experience and build up to the book may have been better but I'm sure I would have been waiting around, and to get the book much longer and it wasn't possible to get there early enough. In terms of decoration and the quiz that happened the event I went to itself was good, I'd have liked to have been picked for the quiz though, as I knew a lot of the answers and I felt it could have been better organised. It also annoyed me that some, perhaps most seemed not to take the Potter world as seriously, I'd have liked to have had company of the sort of people who visit the forums and have been discussing what will happen furiously but oh well. I did wear my Luna Lovegood costume although not it fully for all of the time as when I arrived in the evening, there were only 5 or 6 girls in front of me, none in proper costumes, and although several more costumers turned up later on, as well as many many more people there were no really good complete canon costumes which was a little disappointing. When I got my book, about 15 minutes after midnight I quickly made my way across the busy town I was in, in my robes, holding a wand and the book which I'm sure provided amusement for the drunk passers by. I avoided most spoilers by avoiding both the Internet and T.v/radio mostly as well as all newspapers and magazines I also took my mp3 player to the queue party which I turned up loud when people who I thought may shout things walked by and once it was midnight. I did still see and hear some though, some I now know to be false, others true partly and completely however whether the people who said them were aware what they were saying would turn out to be true I don't know, but for the most part I doubt it.

Once home, I began to read straight away. I read only 2 chapters however before stopping and instead writing my thoughts on what I had just read, trying to guess what it meant and what may happen, intending to do this often, and take my time to read the book. Saturday came, I read some more and then visited my family, some of which already knew the answers from the T.V. I soon realised I would have to finish the book quickly if I was to avoid being spoilt before I reached the end if I wanted to be able to leave the house or watch T.V and so Sunday came and I read almost continuously until I was almost at the end of the main part of the book. Now, with just a page left, which I am trying to delay reading but the temptation to find out what she changed the last word to threatening to cause me to finish the book completely so soon. I think I rushed the reading rather quickly, almost skim reading at parts near the end in my desperation to discover the answers. I regret this to a point but it means I am able to re-read it without the feeling of having already read it as there is much I missed and so much to get my head around. I still don't want to finish the book however, even if there is still much to be discussed on forums and the fandom will continue it is an end of something. To have the possibility of not having any more Potter to read... ever. I know she may write more in the distant future or perhaps just an encyclopedia but that is so unsure at the moment. The world I have come to love; to live, will be over. No more adventures will they participate in, no more fun shall they have. But I know it must end, all good things must come to an end so they say but still I do not read that... last page.

6 days... my Deathly Hallows theories (contains HP spoilers)

So the last Harry Potter book comes out in 6 days and many answers will be revealed, and not surprisingly there is much speculation about what will happen. I have become increasingly concerned that everything seems to point to Harry sacrificing himself in some heroic way for the cause but I'm not sure I want that to happen, unless it means he goes beyond the veil and gets to be reunited with his parents (which would be interesting, as in the first book there is the Mirror of Erised which shows his hearts desire of being with his parents, meaning it would be a nice ending, and a good reference back to the first book and the last challenge in the 'obstacle' course to get the Philosopher's Stone). If that was to happen, however it might also be nice for Ginny to jump in after him so they can still be together, unless she will wait to be reunited when she's older, although then wouldn't Harry have stayed the same age as when he died, I'm not sure how that would work.
Thinking to Voldermort's demise, well everyone think he's a baddy he'll die but I thought perhaps he might just lose his powers to become muggle Tom Riddle (the prophecy only refers to the Dark Lord when saying only one can survive) again which he despised. This would make sense with what Dumbledore always said that there are fates worse that death, and this was one of Voldermort's greatest flaws however this line having not been included in the film makes me wonder if that means it isn't important enough. I'm also not sure how that would come about as J K has used backfiring curses and things before, so would she echo the start again or think of something original, I'm not sure. I don't really like to think he'd use the Gryffindor sword or the killing curse as it would make Harry a direct/brutal killer which he stops Lupin and Sirius becoming in book 3 (or perhaps just int he film I'm not sure) saying he didn't think his father would want his two best friends becoming killers and it would be dropping to the Death Eater's and Voldermort's level however I'm not sure Harry would be happy to let someone else do it so perhaps as is said all along 'love' will kill him in an indirect way because of Harry but I'm unsure how that would work either.
In terms of ships (who gets with who) got to be Hermione and Ron, Harry back with Ginny, Remus and Tonks, Bill and Fleur. I would have liked Neville with someone but J K's dismissed Luna, and also I'd like to see him get revenge in some way over Bellatrix and see his parents make some degree of recovery which would probably make him happier than gaining a girlfriend. I did wonder if there had been something between Remus and Lily though, after re-watching film 3. There are some interesting lines said by him to Harry on the bridge and J K has said that something in that film that was included gave her goosebumps or something because it gave clues for future books or something like that though what that would mean to the story I don't know but that would probably be something he discovers when he visits Godric's Hollow or talks to Aunt Petunia, perhaps that's the thing that means there's more to Petunia than meets the eye, that she liked him or knew him or something, I don't know perhaps not, but I think she knows something more than Harry knows or something.
As to other characters dying, I'm really not sure who it will be, at least 2 major characters that she didn't intend to die suggest at least one of the trio because she had previously said in an early interview that the trio would survive, most likely Harry. Or if it is one of the other two, it could be because the other is in danger and they are sacrificing themselves but to get them together eventually and then to kill one of them would be cruel as they would have such a short time 'together'. I really would like to see Neville and Luna survive lol but I just don't know if they will. I think Hagrid's life is very much in danger too but to kill yet another of Harry's 'family' figures would be so cruel and no longer necessary as Harry has already realised he can't keep letting people get killed stopping him from being hurt which is really why the other deaths of significant characters have needed to happen as well as to keep it 'real' as J K as said I think.
Lastly, for now, to Snape - after watching the new film, I'm tempted to believe he is on the Order's side although that does not mean he is a good person (as Sirius said, which interestingly was included in the film, the world is not split into good people and death eaters) although I did keep changing my mind a lot when reading different theories and thoughts and re-reading and watching the books and films. When I read the last chapters of Half Blood Prince I do think Dumbledore knew what Snape was going to do, and I don't know but perhaps, I think that he was pleading for him to do it, rather than to not, and the look of repulsion is at what he's doing as opposed to at Dumbledore, because otherwise we would hve seen him look at him like that before even if it was when Dumbledore was not looking his way. Although perhaps not, oh I don't know lol, that is what makes these books so good, these things can't be worked out for definite yet clues are there to be discussed, but we will know soon, though whether we'll get all the answers we want is debatable. If J K's said 'never say never' to more books, some things may not be answered (perhaps to be in an encyclopedia type thing) and that also suggests perhaps Harry survives but then again she said something along of the lines of there being a clear ending which could suggest otherwise. I don't really know if another book could work, an encyclopedia would make more sense I think, but part of me wants to think another full story, awhile into the future could still be a possibility.

Post any comments if you have any thoughts on what I've said or your own theories, if your a big HP fan with no friends who are really interested and want to chat about HP theories this week before it's too late and the last book comes out that would be cool too, so just give me your email or myspace address and I'll add you or just say and I'll give you mine if you'd rather. :-)

My Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix film review (film and book 5 spoilers)

So I'd heard quite a bit about the film beforehand and also expected a lot to not be included from the books and things to not be as I imagined them as I have always preferred the books and disliked some of the aspects of the films. The opening of this film made me think this was going to be the same, the park was weird, the dementors seemed to have a huge effect, the other kids were there to start with and the actual dementors have been changed for the worse, since when have dementors grabbed at people and been skeletal? BUT I liked the dialogue between Harry and Dudley in the park and the way the others just laughed at Harry's wand, I also thought the way they filmed the dementors with Dudley was interesting, as you can't really tell if Dudley can see them or anything that may help guess what will be revealed in Deathly Hallows.
The scene in Privet Drive with Uncle Dursley and Aunt Petunia was just a bit weird and didn't feel right but I'm not really sure why. Tonks didn't look as I imagined but her personality was good, not that she had a lot to say. Moody and his stick rather than a wand and no explanation of the protections over Grimauld Place was a bit disappointing however, quite liked Grimmauld Place otherwise though as well as Kreacher.
Such a shame about Sirius as he is a great character, loved the stuff between him and Harry and really felt Harry was sad during those scenes, yet it moved on so quickly and in the scenes with Dumbledore at the end there was no real mention of it, no desperate search to try and find a way to contact him again (like asking Nearly Headless Nick). I did like the Voldermort vs Dumbledore battle though, good effects and loved the possession of Harry stuff, some good lines and acting. On an acting front, Bellatrix was awesome, as was Luna (loved all her lines, she so stole all the scenes she was in lol) but Hermione just seemed a bit too over the top in the delivery of the lines a lot of the time although Emma does a good job at other points. Back to Luna, even though I know J K Rowling has dismissed the suggestion of Luna and Neville getting together there were some interesting moments in this film to suggest otherwise. One time Luna, as calm as anything in the middle of the battles, said to Neville 'that was really good' or something along those lines and also Neville grabs Luna to pull her out of the way at some point and I;m sure they even hold hands which is so adorable. Both characters are, so put together it equals mega adorableness lol. I also liked the bit with Neville talking about his parents to Harry, I may have cried a bit (only just had tears in my eyes for the death later on however, partly because it moved on so quick).
The Occlumency was good but quick, as was a lot of the stuff, didn't see Lily in Snape's memory though, don't know if I missed her or if she wasn't included in the end, I know she was cast.
There were quite a few things, like the Ministry set (especially the veil) and Mrs Figg, that I thought looked wrong in a way but still worked for the film. The veil stuff was interesting, I need to watch it again really to be sure so this could be incorrect but I think Bellatrix says Avada Kedavra but then Sirius sort of stumbles (it's not really made clear) and then goes into the veil, rather than falling straight down dead like we've seen in the past with the killing curse but then again it may just have been the way it was done or I could be remembering wrong so I'm still unsure whether that means all people who die go behind the veil or if it's just because Sirius fell through it that he will. I'm leaning, however, more to the thought that everyone does, but I also think you can't just walk in and back out even if your not dead, so if Sirius did just fall in, he'd still be dead if that makes any sense.
I'm sure there was more I wanted to say on the film but I can't really remember now (oh yeah I did like the look Ginny gave when Harry was staying behind with Cho after one of the DA meetings, and I thought the film had a lot of funny moments, liked the goat walking by Aberforth in the Hog's Head, nice touch for book fans) but I may come back and add things later on lol.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix London Premiere and LeakyMug

I arrived at about 12pm, grabbed some lunch and took what I thought would be my place for the stars to arrive at 5pm. Some minutes later however, I discover an extra section, already closed off where the really early risers are waiting patiently and see the arch ways where the guests will walk through, therefore I move. A little later still police turn up and decide to tell us where we are standing is the drop off point and so we move again, this time, to the place we shall remain, give or take some pushing and shoving, and moving temporarily to allow a van to get through.
Time seemed to pass slowly but eventually the guests began to arrive, and so did the rain, and thunder, and more rain. I missed the main trio but saw most of the other guests arrive however many went straight through the arch into the main area, some did walk along where we were but I only managed to get Evanna Lynch's (Luna Lovegood) autograph which I thought was cool, she is pretty awesome, brilliant Luna looks wise, looking forward to seeing her in the actual film - love the fact she was/is a huge fan too and was chosen from the open casting last year.

I have some photos and some my dad took, though with many umbrellas about it wasn't very easy to get any at all let alone half decent ones, but I might post them if I get around to it lol.

After the premiere, I went along to Piccadilly Theatre to watch a live LeakyMug (www.leakymug.com ) which turned out mainly to be about the film which although quite interesting I was a little disappointed as would have liked to have listened to more Deathly Hallows theorising.

The actual film comes out next week so hopefully I will go and see it, should be good, especially looking for clues for Deathly Hallows, with regards to what is left out or how certain things are done. :)

O.k so why did I say that?

Today, I spent 7 hours (an hour or so more that for the Luna casting last year, despite arriving for this an hour and a half earlier than that time) queuing at Earls Court to have my photo taken and then go into a room with the casting directors who were looking for someone to play Lavender Brown in the Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. When we were all in there they told us to say our name and age, this bit I managed fine, wasn't shy or too quiet but then had to say something about myself. Now I wasn't the only one to go for the funny option with random facts but looking back I really shouldn't have said 'I really like queuing' and probably should have said 'My dream job would either be an actress or a director' but no,I went for the funny option and couldn't think of anything distinctive to say about myself. They were like 'awww good' when I said it and really I doubt they would not ask me back on the grounds of saying something silly an irrelvant if they'd thought I had the look for the part but still, looking back it's bugging me a little. I did have a laugh waiting to go in, chatting to the other girls around me and I have to say if the oppertunity arose I'd do it all again, though I may well go a little earlier.
I haven't definately not got the chance to go back for a screen test yet, as they were ringing some people supposedly tonight and tomorrow but I'm not overly hopefull.
Now I be rather tired, got up at about 7 this morning, and had been to a family wedding party in the evening yesterday, not getting home until about half 12.

Some things I just don't get

Why getting and being drunk is so exciting and something to be really proud of. This isn't a moan as such at people who do have that view, as of course everyone is welcome to do what they want and many people, including close friends do. But it isn't something I have a great urge to do, I just don't understand it. Why would I want to make myself out of control of what I am doing and then not be able to remember what I did. I can understand that drinking a little bit, making yourself just a little more outgoing, happier perhaps could be enjoyable and I have done that. However if you're drinking a lot with the purpose of changing your personality in that way, then clearly you're not happy with how you are normally. Would it not be better to try, however difficult it may be, to change your sober self rather than use something to artificially and temporarily to change yourself.

This lack of understanding can cause problems however when the majority of my friends seem to be ones who enjoy drinking, and they also seem only to have fun, and think mainly only of drinking. Parties can be fun, if people get to a certain drunkenness and the emphasis is on socialising and having a laugh rather than getting totally out of it, and in generally the boy's case's doing something incredibly stupid or dangerous or just plain mean to somebody else even if they do actually sincerely like the other person. That's another thing I don't get, why boys think it's fun to be horrible to their friends, but I'm a girl so I guess I'm not supposed to.

I thought I'd found a group of friends however that I finally had lots in common with, and yes I have some things, and yes I like many of them a lot, but I still feel apart from them. That is also not just because of the varying interests but because in part, of my shy and quietness, some of them still intimidate me with their loudness, although others I do now feel comfortable around enough to talk but I do still get referred to as the 'quiet' one which annoys me, along with the jokes/digs about it. It's not as if I do it on purpose, or that I want to be shy. It's something I can't help, something I'd rather change a little. Just so that I have the confidence to talk more and people actually notice me and know me for something other than just the fact I'm quiet.

Anyhow, I should stop this kind of rant, if anyone who is my friend and thinks any of this applies to them read this, don't take it the wrong way, I do, as I said, like you all, just don't understand some things.

Wizard Rock, well rocks.

For anyone not familiar with Wizard Rock, why ever not? Er... I mean it is rock that is to say music about Harry Potter, all sorts of bands exists with different styles of music ranging from The Whomping Willows to The Remus Lupins and Draco and the Malfoys. Apart from the great names they also make great music. O.k so I'll admit not all of them are the worlds best singers, but it's energetic, it's imaginative, it's fun. Some may laugh, some may just not get it, but some may love it. The most well known and I believe one of, if not, the first band to come about is Harry and The Potters. Now most of these bands are from America, as are these, but they were visiting for a U.K tour so naturally I had to go and see them. It was in a small youth centre, and arriving with my dad who later left me to it alone (none of my friends are really into HP enough to agree to come along - shame on them) and I was a bit unsure what to expect and didn't think there'd be many people there. I was wrong, o.k so there wasn't what you'd call loads, but there were more than I thought there might be and they were all rather more into it than I'd expected which was great. I admit I hadn't listened to a lot of these guys stuff, I'd heard some of their stuff, but mostly listened to other Wizard bands. So I could only sing along to a few of their songs but I had a great time. Spoke to a few people, one I'd seen before and the live PotterCast in London and lots had HP related items and wands (which I was jealous of - note to self - buy a wand) and some were even in costumes which I thought was rather cool. I bought a t-shirt, which is pretty cool too and a CD, couldn't resist I'm afraid lol. The gig itself I thought was pretty awesome, they were rather into it, and overly energetic, jumping around and such, I even jumped around for a while as did practically everyone, I also danced for most of the time, not worrying too much what people thought of me, all in all, it was a great atmosphere, which I think is a lot of what makes a good gig great. :)

Links -

www.myspace.com/harryandthepotters
www.myspace.com/theremuslupins
www.myspace.com/thewhompingwillows
www.myspace.com/dracoandthemalfoys

Other Wizard Rock bands can be found via the friend lists of those bands

http://www.pottercast.com/

Why do we always do this to ourselves?

Worry about something for weeks and weeks, try to convince ourselves it will be fine, know you're right but worry still the same? That's what I've been doing, about AS Level exams, English Language and Media Studies, the later of which having been completed this morning. Neither exam being particularly as bad as one would expect according to the amount I worried myself about them beforehand. I was ill (yep, again) before my first exam and although I was feeling better by the time the exam came I was still rather tired and my revision had suffered somewhat, therefore I don't feel particularly confident that I did well but I remain hopeful for somewhere near a decent grade, once the coursework which I enjoyed much more (I wrote one live gig review of two of my fave artist/band - a certain gorgeous Paolo Nutini and The Stereophonics, and I also wrote an article against animal cruelty, a subject I am rather passionate about) has been taken into account. The media exam today I felt went rather better but I shall not say too much (though I wrote rather a lot in the exam, only just managing to write everything down in time in both of them, mainly because I remember lots and try and include it all in some way, though that does not necessarily mean what I have included will get me a good grade) as not to jinx it in anyway. When I feel I've done well and are optimistic I tend to find I actually haven't done as well as I had though and am disappointed so I have decided to think pessimistically or realistically so as not to build my hopes up but having said that I'm sure hopeful thoughts will enter my mind, maybe ones that are slightly realistic but more likely ones that are me being overly-confident when I shouldn't be. I think sometimes I think I'll do fine, I always seem to, and then I don't and it thankfully brings me back to reality, that just because I've always been told I was clever, always got reasonably good grades doesn't mean I will, o.k so I haven't failed my exams, I got a D and a C in my first modules (I have just re-sit them both, having been told to do so my my teachers as they believe perhaps foolishly, perhaps correctly that I can do better) and many people would consider them great grades, but I have always had rather high expectations of myself which can be help but also sometimes a hindrance. Hopefully I shall be pleased with my results when I get think in August (I think) though I have to say I'm rather more nervous about my bf's results than my own as I want him to do well sooooo much and he is always so pessimistic about his abilities.

Anyhow, now the exams are over, I can stop worrying about them (until the next ones in January prob anyhow lol *rollseyes*) and enjoy rather few things. Firstly, I plan on doing a little re-invention of myself, ironing out a few shall we say unsatisfactory aspects of myself, not appearance wise but I plan to change my appearance a little anyway just to aid the re-inventing and emergence of the 'new me' by having my hair cut and then dyed/bleached although to what extent I'm as of yet undecided. I am also at the beginning of re-decorating, I have three colours I want to put in the room, o.k with accessories four but I think the way I plan it it should work out o.k, perhaps lol. Other exciting things include Harry Potter summer, o.k so it's not really called that but there are so many things going on, not to mention the last book :'-( being released. I am also working on a few stories, not for any real reason, though one project I'm yet to start is for a competition but only involves writing a small part of one. There's also the minor thing of driving, yup my parents have decided to let me loose on the roads, well o.k not quite, but they have taken me out a few times, I think I'm quite good but hopefully will be getting proper lessons soon, hmmm that could prove to be an entirely different story all together :P Anyhow I'm sure there was much more I was going to say but I've rambled on enough for today I think, oh actually, hmmm actually will start a new blog for that me thinks ;)

Easter Holidays - a time for relaxation and writing.

Well here I am, finally getting round to writing about my Easter Holidays. The two weeks were rather interesting for a variety of reasons. I wanted to go away, even just for a night, to get away from everything normal and be able to chill out and relax but I didn't get the chance. I did however do many things that was quite good. Firstly I've been driving. It is a little bit scary but also fun and will provide with me so much freedom once/ if I manage to learn everything and pass my test although I don't expect it will happen for quite a little while yet lol. Other things I have done include going to a random pond to sit and relax, going canoeing, going to Littlehampton, going to the Isle of Wight (Alum bay/needles = gorgeous views, almost tropical - clear sea, awesome cliffs lol). Also went to a party although that can't be counted under the list of relaxing things lol but it was fun. My bf did however go away for a week and leave me, however that turned out okay as it gave me some time to attempt to find myself again and try to arrange/make sense of my thoughts which probably makes no sense or sounds daft but there you go I probably am lol. I did some reminiscing about younger me whilst listening to Alistair Griffin's album which I hadn't listened to in quite a while which was fun and a bit sad at the same time for various reasons. I also realised how much I have changed in different ways over the last few years.

I have also been occupying myself by means of writing a book. It's a semi-biographical story with Beth being the main character. Towards the beginning, it is very much based on true events however details and characters have been altered/exaggerated/imagined along the way, As the story goes on, partly because it will reach a point at which I currently am so will have to, events will begin to be completely made up however Beth is very much me in many ways and her feelings and opinions for the most part will most likely be my own. So far I have about 115 pages (although it is a small book - which happens to be made of black fabric for the cover and oldy looking cream pages inside which attracted me lol) but I am adding to it almost every day. Having read it back to myself I have wondered if it is indeed too personal and if anyone whom the event concerned at the time read it they may realise which may not necessarily be bad but I'm not sure. The story really is a love story, describing a girl's journey through love and life (starting at college age), showing the temptations and disappointments as well as the good things that life often brings. I decided not to include too much technology in my story as I think books should be an escape from those things which is why I love Harry Potter as in the wizarding world they do not really encounter a lot of technology, and to me that benefits them and the story itself. I also love Jane Austen (mainly Pride and Prejudice) and the time period in which her books are set as I love their way of life and their language usage, because of this the way in which I tell my story, in parts has the feel of such books. I have tried to replace more modern things in my book with more old fashioned things although the story is still rally set in the present. Perhaps in a village where old traditions are still adhered to and technology and all such things associated with modern times are not as evident or important. I do kind of have ideas as to where my story is going and how it will end although there are a lot of areas in which I am still unsure, I don't have a title for it either yet, that may not be properly decided upon until the book is finished. After I have written it, if indeed I do finish it, which I hope I do, depending on how long it ends up being I don't know what I'll do with it or if I will let many people read it. Not without cutting bits out or changing things anyway. So far only my bf has read all of it and even then I wonder if I reveal too much of myself inside the words. I guess that is what sometimes makes a good book though, when you get to see inside of somebody else, spend a bit of time in their mind and get an idea of what they are like. Then again to most people who do not know me it will just be a character.

Now though, it is back to college and preparing for the slightly worringly fast, approaching exams which I'm sure you will probably all hear about at some point. I actually sometimes enjoy exams which probably makes me sound rather nerdy indeed, and well partly, I am but these I am not so as I didn't do as well as I'd hoped in the January ones so have re-sits as well as the May/June ones which is going to be added stress and revision and confusion so I worry I will not be able to do any better although hopefully if I get myself into gear and start revising and concentrating on college and the exams I might do. Talking of that, concentrating on college is a rather tricky thing to do when there are HP and POTC films coming out very soon. There is also this little thing of the LAST Harry Potter book being released, and although that is not until after my exams are finished, I would rather be re-reading books 1 -6 and participating in much theorising while I still can that revising for exams but oh well I guess I'll have to attempt some good time organisation/revision planning (hmmmm yea not a strong point, I like making plans/lists as I am that sort of person but sticking to the plans rarely proves to be so easy) and multi-tasking. I do ofcourse have my bf to keep me smiling through the stresses and upset (if Harry dies, which he won't do, hopefully) that may occur. So let the fun begin... :)

I've been to the BBC, oh yes.

Last week I went on a media trip to BBC T.V Centre, which is something I've wanted to do. We had people who gave us a guided tour of the place, which involved seeing where all the news comes in and is organised and whatever although we could only see it from behind glass. They also took us to the CBBC area where we saw the control room where the shots that are shown and stuff is decided and carried out. This was of particular interest to me, I could imagine myself doing something like that perhaps. The whole atmosphere is something I'd love to be part of. We also went into a filming studio where I sat on one of the presenters chairs lol that was cool. Although they pointed out that the sets look a lot better and bigger on screen than they do when you see them in person. The Blue Peter garden was cool although small, I haven't really watched it recently so didn't have an image of what I thought it would be like exactly though.
Another area we went to, was the weather. Here they had a screen like those actually used in the T.V weather forecasts, that they used to demonstrate how the blue screen works, the reference to Harry Potter in their explanation which, if you know me you'll know this quite predictably, kept my interest hehe lol. The penultimate place we were taken was a mock studio designed specifically for the tours were they did a fake news bit and some Weakest link with a few of the group helping out with this and in the mock control room.
The last place we were taken to, via many corridors with green rooms, dry cleaners and even a hairdresser, was the shop. It was here that I bought what I think is a rather cool pen which says BBC on it. :P lol

To be continued... (probably lol)

Well I'm back to continue this post, as I said I would, although a few days later than I had planned. After the, suprisingly short, visit to the BBC, we all got back on our coach to head off to the Science Museum. Here we grabbed some lunch after walking up and down the corridors past various large stuff such as cars, weapons, and planes trying to find the place we were looking for, and then we took our seats inside the IMAX to watch Deep Sea 3D. The screen, as we were told, was rather large and it was quite a cool experience, calming almost at points, as it was as if we were swimming in coral reefs, I could almost have forgotten I was really in a cinema, if there weren't railings at the front also in my view, that is. However the fact it was narrated by Kate Winslet and Johnny Depp had no bearing on me enjoying the film ofcourse. ;P Though saying that, I don't know if I would have known this had I not read it previosley/seen it in the titles.

After this, we boarded our coach and headed home again having had an overall enjoyable day.

January Results

Well I went to college feeling excited about getting my results, I left college feeling dissapointed about having got my results. I didn't fail, I didn't do as bad as many people but I was dissapointed with what I got. I got a D in English Language and a C in Media. My C was I think to be expected as on the day of that exam my mind was quite distracted thinking about whether I'd manage the exam without being sick and I knew as soon as I'd come out of the exam that there were things I didn't mention that perhaps I should have done but part of me had still been hoping for higher. I don't know how close I was to getting a B would be interesting to find out. The D I got was my most annoying as after getting an E in my mock I spent alot of time revising everything I'd been taught and I wrote alot in my exam and felt confident that I'd written about most of the things I needed to and done well so was expecting to get atleast a B if not an A. The teachers were confused by the low grades and so are sending some off to be re-marked. They said that some have gone up from a D to an A after being re-marked but to not get our hopes up as they could alwya sbe re-marked and be given an even lower grade. It would be great to find they do get put up but if not I'll probably be doing a re-sit and as apparently these are put on the same day as the next exam in May it's going to be a little stressfull, and I worry that I'll mess up the next as I'll be trying to remember everything for the re-take one but hopefully it will work out o.k. It is still a pass and coursework (which I enjoy doing more and am more confident with) will count towards the final mark so should be fine for getting me through to be able to take the course to A2 in September *hopefully*. :)

The best live PotterCast in London ever!

O.k so the title is a little bit of a reference to John Noe's previous mentions of each PotterCast being the best whatever number it was on each and every PotterCast but it is a true enough statement, atleast for the moment, perhaops it will change when/if they return to do another, hopefully the next time with Sue too. So anyhow if you're wondering what I am on about, last Saturday I went to London, first to attend a Podcast about Harry Potter being held in a Borders in Charring Cross Road. I left on the train at about 10am and arrived at the Borders store at about 11 and as the podcast wasn't due to start and couldn't see many people about Iwent off elsewhere to grab some lunch. A little over an hour later I made my way back to the Borders store and upstairs to find that earlier I had been looking on the wrong floor and that everyone was on the next floor up so there wasn't many chairs left. Also nearly as soon as I arrived, a lady photographer grabbed me to ask if I'd mind having some photos taken along with some other Potters fans as I had my PotterCast t-shirt on. A group of 4 of us, were taken to the front, to stand infront of a display of the Potter books to pose whilst holding the books. After they'd finished with us, I decided to sit on the floor at the front, just to the side of where Melissa and John (the Podcasters) would be sitting shortly. This proved to be both a good and bad idea as although I had a good view, I also got rather still legs from sitting for over an hour with my legs bent in positions they shouldn't be for that amount of time. A little later than the scheduled start time, Melissa and John appeared and sat down in the large Border's chairs that had been supplied for them and picked up their microphones ready for the podcast. They talked about their experience in England, and their trips to see the various plays currently featuring some Potter actors and actresses. Talk then turned to the HP games and then to theories and questions about the books. There were many interesting theories although I think I'll need to re-listen to the podcast to remember what they were now! (If you want to listen go to - PotterCast.com or see the little advert thingy I have for it on the left). Once the Podcast had regrettably finished, the hosts hung aroudn for awhile talking to everyone, I wasn't sure what to say to them but I got my phot taken with them which was cool, I also didn't have enough courage to talk to anyone else there, I was hoping to meet some people form the leakylounge.com forums and I did recognise one or two people but I didn't, hopefully there will be another oppertunity to do so (perhaps at another Podcast from a different Harry Potter website ;P lol). After awhile I left the Borders store and made my way to Oxford Street to do some shopping. I found some fingerless long, stripey, purple and black pirate themed gloves and pirate themed socks on a stall that i couldn't resist buying and I aslo bought a top from Topshop that says - 'Pick flowers not fights' which I thought was rather cool. The Topshop there is rather huge, there is almost one floor entirely of accessories and such things. Thankfully it wasn't as hot this time, howeever it was rtaher busy. I qutie like the whole busy atmosphere London has but I also love the atmosphere when walking back in the evening when it is all dark and a sort of hushedness about when walking across a bridge over the thames, and the traffic and other nightime noise is just quiet background noise and you can see the lights and everywhere seems friendly and calm (near the London eye this is) I just love it. I don't think I would be able to stand London every day though as it does get rather too hectic and shopping with lots of people means you miss lots of things you might have otherwise seen. :)

Timmmmber

That would have been a good word to have shouted at certain times yesterday afternoon. I took two partly willing volunteers, previously mentioned in last blog. to a little wooded area to film scenes (mainly sword fighting) for my media project (a trailer for a pirate themed film) both dressed in pirate gear, my bf making a rather sexy pirate I have to say. I do have a little obsession, no really I'd say it's a large interest in things piratey so it was pretty safe to predict I was going to incorporate pirates into my media and then enjoy watching bf dressed as pirate (complete with hat ala Captain Jack Sparrow) probably a little too much much. Though part of my reason for enjoying watching him was because I got to laugh at him and other pirate volunteer fighting, hurting themselves and bf attempting to swing on a tree that was never going to hold his wait hence the title to this particular blog. Despite having not overly serious volunteers I did manage to get most of the scenes that I wanted to filmed. Today I also filmed some more stuff for my trailer - this involved me going to Portsmouth, on HMS Victory and having a look around and then on a harbour tour (being a partly open roofed boat meant it was a rather cold but enjoyable - and also I find rather calming as I find most boat/canoe trips often are - none the less 40ish minute trip) on which I filmed part of the HMS Warrior and open water shots that I hope to edit so that they appear as if a pirate ship is in an ocean rather than an old ship in Portsmouth Harbour. I also took the advantage of their being various gift shops to do some shopping, filmed some random stuff, and bought a pretty though quite possibly over priced turquoise shell, a pencil with the Mary Rose on the top of it, a purple feather pen, a canon ball keyring and some chocolate for my mum. None of those things did I really need but I was just too tempted to leave the shop without them, having already spotted these possibly - possibly not - brilliant finds. I returned home happy, although rather cold and quite probably facing the prospect of red wind burned cheeks to have to try and conceal before college in the morning.

Going back to Wednesday, Valentines day, as I did mention this beforehand I felt I should go back to it and say that it was a good day, spent at home watching a DVD (Just like Heaven, which is a reasonably good film I thought with quite funny parts, and although it was quite predictable in parts, it was also unpredictable in others, it also had a happy ending which of course if you are a regular reader you'll know I like) and generally hanging out with my bf which was lovely.

I'm currently reading The Devil Wears Prada, got to about chapter 16 so far, I'm still interested which is a good thing but I have found that I haven't had that grip that makes me want to keep reading on and on until I finish the book in a day having said that it is still an enjoyable read, despite the slightly negative reference to HP ;P lol. I'll give you my further opinions on this book once I have finished reading it. I'm not entirely sure where it's going or how everything will end up so I guess you could say it isn't predictable, though not everyone will necessarily class that as a good point. I also watched another DVD this week - ElizabethTown, which is a rather strange film, slightly unbelievable in places and I slightly lost interest in other parts and was doing other things at the same time as watching but I liked the way it ended with you not knowing if they were going to end up back together and it was a happy ending again lol and don't they make a gorgeous couple. :)

If you go down to the woods today you're sure of a big surprise

O.k so you would have been had my previosley willing volunteers not decided to not get alot of sleep last night. I had planned to film some scenes for my media project - requiring to boys to dress up as pirates, me wear a long dress (originally made to be a LOTR elf dress) and film various stuff such as a sword fight. Had any dog walkers happened to see this potential amusing scene unfolding it would indeed have been a big surprise, but that will now have to wait until another day. Dog walkers in the area beware! lol.

As it happens, I still went to aforementioned woods with one, er... 'willing' volunteer (aka my bf), to do a bit of location spotting which I thought was fun, not sure said volunteer did though, let's just say it was rather muddy.

On other news, it be Valentines day tomorow, I have present and card ready, just about and things planned for it so I'd like to think I was reasonably prepared, makes a change, though I am still considering a trip to the local shop tomorow morning incase I change my mind lol.

Some rather exciting news next, well I thought so anyway, PotterCast, the Harry Potter podcast that I may have mentioned once or twice in my blogs ;p is set to do a live podcast over here in the U.K which I shall hopefully be able to get to *fingers crossed* and wear my PotterCast t-shirt with pride lol. This is also rather exciting, not just because I'll get to see the podcasters, or some fellow U.K HP fans but also because hopefully there will be some book discussion which will act as the next best thing to being able to get to any HP conventions (which I can't as the one here in London requires attendees to be 18 which I won't *quite* be when it is happening) before book 7 is released. So I'm rather happy about that, still trying to find some gigs to go to though, my list of gigs to go to is rather shorter than last years was, with the grand total of none, although I do have a comedy gig booked up and another a maybe at the moment.

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows

In true Sue (PotterCast) style my response to this is at first squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I first noticed mentions of a book 7 release in myspace bulletin titles and quickly headed over to www.leakynews.com to check if this was true. It was - July 21st will see the last in a series be released. I was rather excited when I first read this news but then it hit me, this is the last, the final book, no longer is the reasurance that she can't kill Harry because there will be more books. There wont. However stupid this may sound to those not a fan of the HP series, the final book makes me feel a little sad. It is said that apparently Waterstones are to set up a helpline for people once they have read the final book, I don't expect I will ring but if J K Rowling writes the deaths of any of the main characters it's pretty likely my eyes wont stay dry. I'll admit, I'm emotional, books. films can often quite easily make me cry and the HP books are no different. I become attached to the characters quickly, connect with them, adore them. If they are to die, it's likely I will cry as I did after book 6. I think this shows Jo's talent for writing. The ability to move me to cry uncontrollably about a fictional character's death, even if it be only for a short awhile until I pull myself together and remember that it is after all just that - fiction. Fiction however can be wonderfull, a place to emerse ourselves in, to escape from our current reality and the stresses of every day life. Discover a world completely different to our own, yet still be able to identify with certain aspects, learn, be entertained. The HP books and also to an extent the films (although the books have always remained my favourite of the two) have allowed me to cheer myself up when I've been feeling down and given me something to discuss and theorise about. The Harry Potter experience now, is more than just the initial reading of the books, I've seen the films, I have been to autograph shows to meet the actors from the films, I've had my mum make me a costume, I've based Halloween costumes on things from HP, I've played the computer games, I've bought merchandise and film cells and posters, I've joined serveral websites, I've listened to a podcast about it, I've longed to be able to go to a HP conference and been a little annoyed because I have to be 18. I've lived Harry Potter. To see this come to an end, is a little scary. O.k so it is only the books, the rest will continue for a few more years atleast I expect, there will still be films to release and actors to be met, conventions to be gone to.However I fear it will no longer be the same, answers of questions from previous books will be known, unanswered questions in this last book may never be answered so theorising will no longer be the same. Beloved characters gone, even though the never really existed in the beginning.

O.k so at the moment, I'm excited and thinking about where to go to get the last book, debating where there will be large book release events, where I can emerse myself in the excitement of hundreds of people, all waiting, nervous excitement surrounding me, most hoping no one is their to spoil this last book for them before they themselves can finish this final book.

I just can't get enough, it makes me so happy

Well that title could be applied to many a thing in my life at the moment, but doesn't actually have alot of relevance to what this blog is planned to be about (the intended subject could be forgotten if i get distracted, thinking about it i'm not entirely sure what the reason for posting this was anymore) but it is from a new song posted by Tabby Callaghan which I rather like at the moment. :)

I'm now feeling rather better, been back to college, did my media exam (which I think went o.k, though I came out and was soon reminded of lots of words I should/could have included but my mind was slightly on thinking about having been ill so my mind wasn't as into it as I prob should have been, but I still hope that I did do o.k as I did write alot about some things, just didn't include a few other things and some of the media jargon I knew), and I've been to play pool and things, still got a bit of a cold though. I've been planning my Media a bit more, I now have another volunteer so it's just a case of getting them to a good place and filming it. I've also been having a look around for some music to go with it, at the moment I'm considering songs by either Tabby, Stereophonics or The View though I could still find something else.

I've just realised I'm a bit behind in listening to PotterCasts, I've been a bit busy whenever I've come online, o.k so mainly talking to people (my bf mostly) on msn but that's not the point lol, I have been busy doing some work aswell. I've got a few IT assignments done and handed in but I also have another couple to be working on which could be tricky and time consuming. There isn't as much pressure to get that done as there is for my media and english though. I've almost finished my first piece of english coursework, a article for an Animal Aid magazine so am starting to thinking about what I'll do for the second piece, at the moment I'm thinking it will most likely be some sort of reviews page for a music magazine. I think aslong as I spend enough time on this I will get it done in time. My media however, which is also due about March time, is a bit more of a concern as it involves filming which I'm just not sure when I can get time to do and then I'll have to edit it and then write an evaluation and if you don't get it in by the deadline you fail, so that's a little scary, but I just need to make sure I set aside enough time and get on with it i guess.

I'm still on the search for gigs and other things to go to lol, and I watched 2 new dvds recently - The Sweetest Thing and Wimbledon, both quite good films with happy endings which is something I do like, TST is a rather sexually charged film though I have to say, and W is rather sweet with a nice bit of comedy thrown in for good measure. All in all two rather enjoyable films but Wimbledon would prob be my favourite out of the two.

looks like it's going to one of those days, when you just can't get along

Well to quote a little Riccardi song, from Friday afternoon/evening until today has been one of those days. I've been rather unwell and just lazed around, had two days off college (I've worked out, including two days where I missed lessons due to exams, I have missed in just that time, 9 hours of IT out of the whole 10 I have a week, considering I don't always like this lessons and it can be boring and tiring that's a lot) and have been feeling lifeless but I'm feeling better now, thankfully because being at home endlessly isn't much fun and as sad as this is, I actually miss going to college. I did miss an oppertunity to see Lenny Henry at the weekend though, but my parents went and I'm not too bothered as I don't think his humour would have all appealed to me, so really it's only the wasted money on the ticket that annoyed me. I have got some tickets to see Frank Skinner, which hopefully I will be able to go to and enjoy. :)

1 down 1 to go

Well I have 4 exams in total (not including the silly general studies exams we supposedly *have* to take) to do over this year which is a considerably fewer amount than when I had to do my GCSE's. For this month I only have 2 - English Language, which I did and I think went o.k *hopefully*, and Media which I have next week. I'll then have until June for the rest, hopefully I won't have any to resit. I was unwell yesterday afternoon and today but hopefully I'll be feeling better very soon so I'll be o.k for my Media exam.

2007 - Nope I couldn't think of a more interesting title

Well it has now been 2007 for a week so hope it has been a good start to the year for everyone.

Last year I had quite a few gigs and things planned around this time, this year I have tickets for one comedian, hopefully will get some for another soon and maybe for another at some point too but there is a rather sad list of no gigs to go to yet. I hope to see Tabby again this year so will have to keep an eye out for gigs, Albion have mentioned that there will be some exciting announcements soon so hopefully that will include some gigs. I also would really like to go to the Reading festival but will have to wait and see if that's possible this year or not. I have considered booking up to see The Feeling again this year but haven't done as of yet, and I wanted to see Paolo, but the London gigs are during the week so not practical thought knowing me, I'll give in the week before and go on a desperate search or bidding spree on Ebay lol. I do hope to see some of the not so famous bands/artists this year too and there's a few more famous ones that I'd quite like a chance to see. I want to try and out do last year but I'm not sure if will lol. :-)

Back to now, I've realised I'm really quite competitive, think Monica in Friends. I've been going to play pool with my bf a few times and well he beats me a lot, now I don't think I'm that bad in fact I have one or two really good shots (that may be luck but that's not the point ;P) yet I still seem to loose even if I catch up from far behind or am winning for a lot of the time and well I don't like loosing. Because of that I get what you might say is a little angry, not in the I'm going to go beat someone up way but in the I'm prob going to swear a little more than I normally do and hit the ball probably quite a bit harder than I should, resulting in either a good/lucky shot or the white ball going flying off the table and narrowly missing the people standing around the other table, who were thankfully people I knew from college but the fact remains I like to win. Personally I think perhaps beign an only child has had some effect on this, well that will be my excuse anyway and I feel I may be making a return trip to play again somewhen soon to try and prove I can win. :P I've just noticed I used the word somewhen, although apparently it isn't a word. I've used it for as long as I can remember and never realised that it isn't actually a word until it was pointed out to me. I'm not the only one to use it though but the people who don't (aka my bf :P) like to point out the fact it isn't a word, I have plans to get a petition or something with all the people I can find that use the word and send it to whoever writes the dictionary's, whether I'm actually sad enough to do that is yet to be seen ;) lol, if you do use the 'word' somewhen or have an opinion on it please leave a comment, would be interested to see how many people do in fact use somewhen.

In an attempt to regain any street cred I prob lost a long time ago I did do something a little cooler than arguing about the word somewhen and looking it up, I went shopping. I'm not a huge fan of shopping, mainly because I can never make up my mind, or they don't have what I want and I get fed up but it can be enjoyable for awhile, especially if you are in places with sales or cool things. I love Topshop, it is a fact that can't be denied, I could prob spend a lot of money in that shop, though with some of their prices that wouldn't mean buying a lot but I do get student discount which makes me feel happy. Today I bought two tops and a bag, the bag was the only thing in the sale, but the fact that it was a bag that I liked before it went into the sale was somewhat (which actually *is* in the dictionary! :S) satisfying. I also went into Claires, I don't often find anything of interest but today I found a guitar necklace that was half price from £3.50 which I though was a bargain and a very cool pirate themed coin purse with one of those catch things that I like because it kind of reminds me of old fashioned things, vintage would be the more impressive sounding word to use I think.

Talking of impressive sounding words, I have an English AS Exam this week, which I am a little nervous about, I've done some revision, probably not as much as I should have done but there is still time, I know most of the terminology but it will be a case of what texts I get, whether I can remember the words to use and whether I can put it all together make it sound impressive and make sense and actually answer the question being asked. Easy, then...

I also have a Media AS Exam the week after, but I am a little more confident about that as I got a higher grade in my mock though I'm still a little apprehensive of course. I also currently have coursework for my Media which we are just starting. I'm doing a film trailer, I got a video camera for Christmas, I've done my storyboards, so now I need to film it. This could be interesting seeing as my film is about pirates on a search for the truth about one of their ancestry. I have one costume, one willing volunteer and some prob rather ambitious ideas, yes interesting is definitely the word I'd use to describe trying to film this. I shall hopefully try and update you all with my progress with that when I can. Also if I get any gigs I shall probably come and let you all know.