Are some things too hard to understand?

Boys just don't get somethings do they. I'm not saying we females are perfect, I'm sure there are many a thing we don't get about guys either. But, the fact I may well want a happy non-hungover boyfriend on my birthday is surely not that hard to understand. I have to say if he turns up on my birthday in a moody state due to having got drunk the night before and isn't up for drinking and partying in the evening I will be rather annoyed. I wouldn't normally mind but my birthday is surely the one day I can demand somethings. If there is one thing that I have learnt about relationships whilst at Uni it is that long distance relationships are hard. There are so many issues and problems. Finding the time and money to visit each other being you would think the hardest but finding the time to talk to each other is actually the hardest even though it needn't be. My boyfriend never likes to be in his room preferring to hang around with friends around the university which is fair enough for the most part. Uni is about having fun and meeting new people aferall but surely if he loves me as much as he has said he does he would sometimes think actually I am going to go sit in my room for a few hours and talk on msn. But when we are talking on msn or on the phone there is hardly any conversation not nearly as much as you would expect from two people in love who hardly see each other. This exact problem was indeed the cause of a short break up just over a week ago yet has anything changed? Can anything change. Can the relationship continue. I just don't know if his heart is really in it anymore. It hurts to think about that.

You have to become someone else to know who you really are.

I've just hit that point. The moment when I've realised I have alot of work to do. It's been parties, social social social. Fun. I laughed at the work people at other Uni's seemed to be doing but now it has come back to me and I'm feeling pretty swamped right now. I'm not behind as such, no one else has done much more than myself but still, it suddenly all feels a bit more real and frightening.

It took several weeks, two trips home, and a trip to the boyfriend before this phase of my life stopped being an odd dream and became a reality - my real life. Right now. It has also stopped feeling quite so seperate from the outer word. I've gained perspective of the whole picture. I'm not just a student here, life at home is still there, just waiting for me to return. That doesn't however stop this here, being so completely strange, emotional and stressfull. But it's also so much fun. Being thrown so completely out of my comfort zone so suddenly reall takes a lot of getting used to and I lost all sense of me, all sense of real and became someone else. I'm slowly rediscovering who is me. Which doesnt just mean going back to what I was before I started here or becoming a completely new person it's a mix. I'm what I was, I'm what I am, I'm finding what I liked about past me, and what I didn't, what needs to go or be altered to make me better to make me happy, to make me me.