You have to become someone else to know who you really are.

I've just hit that point. The moment when I've realised I have alot of work to do. It's been parties, social social social. Fun. I laughed at the work people at other Uni's seemed to be doing but now it has come back to me and I'm feeling pretty swamped right now. I'm not behind as such, no one else has done much more than myself but still, it suddenly all feels a bit more real and frightening.

It took several weeks, two trips home, and a trip to the boyfriend before this phase of my life stopped being an odd dream and became a reality - my real life. Right now. It has also stopped feeling quite so seperate from the outer word. I've gained perspective of the whole picture. I'm not just a student here, life at home is still there, just waiting for me to return. That doesn't however stop this here, being so completely strange, emotional and stressfull. But it's also so much fun. Being thrown so completely out of my comfort zone so suddenly reall takes a lot of getting used to and I lost all sense of me, all sense of real and became someone else. I'm slowly rediscovering who is me. Which doesnt just mean going back to what I was before I started here or becoming a completely new person it's a mix. I'm what I was, I'm what I am, I'm finding what I liked about past me, and what I didn't, what needs to go or be altered to make me better to make me happy, to make me me.